Grumpy McGrumpington

Z came back from London the day before last and then yesterday morning he flew off for the weekend!  Basically he came home for one evening with his peeps.
The one evening he was home I had my swimgym class (the only form of exercise that I am finally allowed, so missing it is not an option), still, we decided to jump start our weekly friday evening.  A little explanation might be needed here, generally, on Friday's, we try for some yummy time, we might go to a café in the morning, have something unhealthy for dinner, watch a movie and overindulge on chocolates.  
So we decided we'd have a late dinner of homemade pizza and some good red wine!  Everything went according to plan, and when I came back from the pool, little man was in bed and the pizza was ready for the oven. The movie wouldn't play, we tried everything, but, what the heck, we had pizza and wine and delicious coffee, so all was good with the world.  Then right when I was feeling too much of a buzz from the wine and also just from being tired, in a good way, little man wakes up, and he is inconsolable.  HE DOES NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP!  Ergo, neither do I.  
What is the actual point of this nagathon?  Well, yesterday morning, when we were suppose to either go to a café or at least have a cozy breakfast together I was so exhausted and grumpy that as soon as little man went for his nap I passed out. I didn't even really say goodbye to hubbyliscious.  Poor guy had to have a lonesome cold breakfast and when he tried to let me know he was leaving I was pissed off at him for trying to wake me!  When we finally did wake up (Grumpy and Grumpy junior), I felt so bad, but it was too late, his phone was already out of range, either that or switched off to avoid yours truly.  
The stupid thing is that I still feel really bad about the whole thing.  I mean, I was justifiably exhausted, but nevertheless.  I feel like Z must be kinda' mad at me, disappointed like, and that is the stupidest thing ever cause he hardly ever gets that way, and still I worry.  Not being able to get hold of him doesn't help, of course.

On a different yet related note, what is up with babies and not being able to tell you what's wrong?  One of those message board things on their foreheads would come in real handy!  Or one of those warning voices they put in cars.  It's just so frustrating to have to go through every possibility with a screaming baby, when the whole thing could fixed with one quick forehead flash of poop, or earache or even itchy nose!  You might even be able to get it over and done with before he's completely awake again!

Still deliriously tired but at least I remembered the title

In a desperate attempt at getting over last nights bullshitery, I give you photos!


Old wall


New wall in progress

Just a fair warning, before you actually get into reading this entry; I'm tired and it's late and I really ought to go to bed, so don't blame me if this whole rambling ramble doesn't make sense!  You get that, no, didn't think so, good! 
 Anyway, I needed a little bit of me time, or should we say grown up time.  Not that I know what I'm gonna talk about, my very uninteresting yet completely satisfying day, I guess.  The big man is in London for work so it's just me and little man (oh, and the fur balls).  We had a very good but extremely domestic sort of day.  I've cleaned and scrubbed and cooked etc. all the while keeping an eye on he who crawleth everywhere and standeth up at every opportunity!  That's proof that I'm too tired right there, exclamation marks galore!!!!
The reason for my blog laziness in the last week or so is a lot more interesting however.  I have been decorating THE ROOM, you know, for the kid.  The room that we already moved him into because I wanted to move him before he turned 8 months old, you know, before he becomes old enough to give a crap.  But, because I am crazy in the brainhouse, we have moved him back in with us, cause mama couldn't just do a couple of simple stencils, no, she had to go for the whole mural thing, preferably all four walls, and yeah, what the heck, lets throw in real life tiger, and an open bar!  Oh, how old is he now, let's see, 8 and a half months!  Completely bonkers I am, that's a given.  But, I'm happy with the work I'm doing, It's really incredible how much a little bit of paint can do for me, I wish I could do this for a living, that would totally rock!
I'll try to remember to post some pics tomorrow, right now I've really got to get to bed, I wrote that got to get to bed, oh and also the rest of this sentence, about five times already, mostly cause' of my lousy spelling, but also the involuntary eye closing thing!

Irrational fear of falling

I've got a slipped disc in my lower back and it has been screwing up my life for the last two years or so. This is something you will be reading about on this blog, and I mean consistently, in overly exaggerated portions. This stupid disc is the reason I get an anxiety attack every time I stumble or almost fall or trip over my own feet, I even get slightly panicky if I see others stumbling! So, when I go and fall flat on my butt, pushing my spine out in exactly the worst way possible, I feel like I must lie down there and then, in the café (oh yeah, that's me in all my glory), and not move, ever, possibly drowning in my own tears! But, there's a baby to haul back home in the blistering hale, a diaper to be changed, food to be shoveled, teeth to be brushed and before you know it the day is done and the tears, they never got cried!

Let's try this again, shall we!

Ok, so I've tried this before and it's still out there somewhere. Why am I not continuing that one you might ask? Cause' I forgot the bleedin' password that's why! Have already tried every combination of all the words in the English language and I still can't access it, so here we go again! It's actually good really, so much has happened in the last two years (now you know how long it takes to go through the English dictionary) that it would be kinda' hard to try and continue from last time, so, a fresh start it is. I just noticed how much I use the word so, I've even deleted a couple, can you believe that? So, (haha) anyway, I'm gonna try this again, am definitely not promising anything, what with my lazy ass history, but I've been feeling increasingly frustrated with all kinds of shit, nothing major, just, you know, needing somewhere to sound off. Somewhere to nag, really, about everything and nothing. Don't sweat the petty stuff, just write about it!